Heartache in Rictameter

[Kalyope]

<center>Heartache.</center>
<center>My lungs aching</center>
<center>from the shudders and sobs.</center>
<center>My eyes sting with every fresh tear,</center>
<center>red-rimmed and swollen. I've cried my skin raw,</center>
<center>cried myself hoarse, and yet the tears</center>
<center>still burn me, forbid me</center>
<center>to forget my</center>
<center>heartache.</center>

The Rictameter is a nine line poem where the lines contain syllables 2, 4, 6, 8, 10, 8, 6, 4, 2. The first and last lines also have to be the same. It's fun to mess around with.

[Hannibal]

maybe it's just the style of poem...

I dunno.

But I think you can do better. A lot of this seems kinda forced, like you had to really think of words just to make it all fit together.

I think you could make something that fits in those parameters, but have it much natural sounding and smooth.